A manager hired a new secretary and she was young, sweet and polite… One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. While leaving the room, she courteously said, “Oh, sir, did you know that your barracks door is open?” He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look…
A guy goes in for a doctor’s visit. The doctor says, “What seems to be the problem?” And the guy says, “Every morning, I wake up at 5:00, roll over, and have sex with my wife. Then I shower and shave, and we have sex again on the breakfast table. “Then my ride-sharing partner blows…
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client He says, “John, I have some good news and some bad news.” The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day; let’s hear the good news first.” The attorney said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she…
Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says: “Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!” The mom says: “The…
A little boy’s friend tells him: “If you say to adults ‘I know about it all’, they’ll give you anything.” So of course he goes home and says to his dad: “I know about it all”. The dad hands him 100 bucks and tells him “but don’t tell mommy”. The kid, stoked, goes to his…
Four men are in the hospital waiting room! Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.” “That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!” A nurse says to the second…
It’s the first day of the parapsychology class. The professor asks, “How many of you believe in ghosts?” All of the hands go up. “And how many of you have ever seen a ghost?” About 90% of the hands go up. “And how many of you have ever touched a ghost?” About 20% of the…
A Jewish man on the subway is reading an Arab newspaper A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached him. “Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?” Moshe replied, “I used to read the Jewish…
Papa mole, mamma mole and their two baby moles were in their tunnel beneath the grocery store. The papa mole stopped, sniffed, and said, “Oooh, we’re underneath the sugar now.” A little later he stopped, sniffed, and said, “Oooh, we’re underneath the honey now.” A little more time passed and papa mole stopped, sniffed, and…
Two young boys walk into a pharmacy store to buy tampons Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, ‘Son, how old are you?’ ‘Eight’, the boy replied. The man continued, ‘Do you…