An elderly classical languages professor goes to Rome for a conference. He hails a taxi as he leaves the airport, and the driver points to a sign saying “Tell driver your destination”. The professor hesitates for a moment. He doesn’t speak Italian, but doesn’t want the driver to misunderstand his directions in English. Suddenly realizing…
3 drunk guys 3 drunk guys enterd a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, “We have reached your destination”. The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said “Thank you”. The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver…
A shark is teaching his kid how to eat humans and he says “look son, first you swim full force at the human but at the last second, you turn away. Then you swim at him full force again, but again at the last second you swim away. Then you can go back and eat…
A woman calls the cops about her neighbour. A woman calls the cops and says, “You have to get an officer over here right now. The man in the building across from me is walking around naked. It’s indecent!” A policeman comes to her door, and the woman leads him into the living room and…
A Couple is Walking in East Berlin on Christmas Eve… A couple is walking in East Berlin on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation. “I think it’s raining,” says the man. “No, it’s snowing,” replies the woman. “How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!” exclaims the main. “Officer Rudolph,…
A shy priest greets the wedding guests to the Chapel. He’s very nervous and doesn’t say much. As the couple approach the altar the priest steps up and gives the best speech anyone has ever heard. He’s full of confidence, incredibly expressive and has everyone in fits of laughter! After the vows, the priest is…
A redhead, brunette and a blonde walk into a bar. They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about thier opinions on elements. The redhead says,”I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.” The brunette says,”I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can…
A man walks into a bar and sees 2 steaks hanging from the ceiling. He sits down and orders a beer, and asks the bartender “what’s the deal with the steaks?” “It’s a competition. If you can jump up and slap both steaks at the same time, one with each hand, you win the bar….
A blind man walks into a bar, sits down at the counter and orders a double martini. Realising that there are several people sitting around him, he says: “I’m going to tell you the best joke about blondes you’ve ever heard.” The woman next to him says: “Before you tell the joke, i’m going to…
3 Drunk guys entered a taxi. 3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, “We have reached your destination”. The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said “Thank you”. The 3rd guy slapped the…