Sam Loved Ninjas Little Sam loved ninjas. He’d think about them all day and watch ninja movies all night. He had a ninja costume, throwing stars, the whole shebang. One day he’s playing around and whacks himself in the eye with a nunchuck, he runs downstairs to his mum bawling “Mummy mummy mummy look what…
Three daughters A woman is walking home with her 3 daughters. The eldest daughter turns to her and asks, “Mummy, how did I get my name?” “Well sweetie, when we were bringing you home from the hospital, a rose petal landed on your head! So that’s why we named you Rose.” The second daughter, now…
Two nuns are driving down a dark, winding road in rural Romania. . . when they turn a corner to see a vampire hovering over what appears to be a body in the middle of the road. It looks up and hisses as the headlights illuminate blood-covered fangs. Sister Mary looks at Sister Elizabeth and…
Karen goes to the doctor not feeling well. Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately. . Doctor: I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news. Karen: Don’t give me this lab nonsense. I believe in homeopathic medicine, faith-based approaches and healing crystals. All my life, they have never…
Doctor, I have a sexual problem. “Doctor,” the embarrassed man said, “I have a sexual problem. I can’t get it up for my wife anymore. “Mr. Garrett, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do.” The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. “Take off your clothes,…
A man calls home. The maid answers phone. He says, “Can I speak to my wife?” She says, “No, she’s upstairs in bed with her boyfriend.” Angry he says, “Ok, go to the hall closet and take out my shotgun. Go upstairs and kill them both.” Being the loyal maid, she says, “Ok.” 5 minutes…
A joke meant to be told to someone you wanna make love to… 10% success rate. A curious rabbit escaped from the zoo and into wilderness… It went HOP HOP HOP until it spotted a cow. Rabbit: What are you? Cow: Do you really wanna know? Rabbit: Yes! Cow: Let’s have sex first. –love making–…
A Mormon and Irishman are on a plane A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if…
A Mormon and an Irishman are on a plane… A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon…
An Amish girl and her mother were visiting a mall and they were especially amazed by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again with a room inside. The girl asked, “Mother, what is this?” The mother, never having seen an elevator before, responded, “I have no idea.” While the girl…