Henry and Janet are about to get married When Henry arrives at the church, he has a big smile on his face. His best man asks him why he’s so happy, and he says “I know it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, but Janet came over this morning and gave me…
The phone bill was exceptionally high. The man of the house called a family meeting to discuss. The phone bill was exceptionally high. The man of the house called a family meeting to discuss. Dad: This is unacceptable. I don’t use the home phone. I use my work phone. Mum: Me too, I hardly use…
The phone bill was exceptionally high… …. so the husband called a family meeting to discuss the issue. Dad: This is unacceptable. I don’t use the home phone, I use my work phone. Mum: Me too. I hardly use our home phone. I use my company’s phone. Son: I always use my office mobile, I…
A maid goes to the lady of the house and demands a raise. “Why should I give you a raise?” asks the lady. “Because I cook better than you ever could,” says the maid. “Who told you that?” demands the lady. “Your husband he say,” says the maid. “Also, I clean better than you ever…
A rich man came home and immediately started shouting at his wife. “I’ve been looking at our expenses and they are through the roof! What have you got so much to spend on? From now on, things will need to be different!” “Different how?” his wife asked. “Well, for starters, if you learned how to…
Italian guy on a bus Sitting on a bus in New York, a prim old lady was shocked to overhear an Italian say to another, “Emma come-a first. I come-a next. Two ass-a come-a together. I come-a again. Two ass-a come-a together again. I come-a once more. Peepee twice. Then I come-a for the last…
Two Irish men were at a bar Guy 1: I hear yeh accent, which part of Ireland yeh from? Guy 2: Dublin Guy 1: oh wow me too! Where in Dublin? Guy 2: Ballyfermot Guy 1: No way! I’m from Ballyfermot too! Which school in Ballyfermot were yeh at? Guy 2: St Mary’s of the…
A raise The maid asked for a raise, and the wife was upset. She asked, “Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?” Helen: “There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you.” Wife: “Who said that?” Helen: “Your husband.” Wife: “Oh.” Helen: “The second reason is that…
On night a kid walks in, just as his parents are have sex. He runs out crying. Then next day, his mom goes to speak to him about it. “Did you see me last night on top of daddy, bouncing up and down?” The kid nodded. “You know daddy has a big belly, well I…
GIVE THIS MAID A BELLS… A maid wanted a salary raise. Madam wanted 3 reasons why she wanted a raise. Maid: I can cook Better than you. Madam: Who told you that? Maid: Your husband told me. Madam: OK, second reason? Maid: I can iron better than you. Madam: Who told you that? Maid: Your…