A plane is about to crash… An airplane has a tragic engine malfunction and they captain tells everyone to brace themselves because they are going to crash in the middle of the desert. A female flight attendant decides she wants to die feeling like a woman. She stands up and removes all her clothes. Naked,…
An old man goes to confession one morning. An old man goes to church one morning and heads into confession. Inside, he says to the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old, a widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight attendants. They took me home and I made love to both of…
One of my personal favorites (Thanks Good Will Hunting) So I’m on a plane flying from New York to LA and the pilot gives his “now free to move about the cabin” message, only he forgets to turn off the mic, so the entire plane hears him when he turns to the copilot and says…
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in…
This couple board this jetliner for a trip to New York. The jetliner gets full of passengers and they are ready to go but, they notice that there are no attendants or pilots. The door closes and the jetliner starts taxing down the taxiway towards the runway and starts to take off. As they are…
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, “I’d rather…
A group of engineering proffesors got in a plane… Before closing the doors, the flight attendants told them that the plane had been built by their own students. Scared, all of the teachers ran out of the plane, except one. The pilot came to him and asked him why he was so relaxed. The proffesor…
An Irishman and a Mormon are on a plane. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, “I’d rather be savagely raped by…
A plane emergency landed in the water, no one is willing to go on the life boat The flight attendant then asks the captain what to do. The captain replied, Tell the Americans that it is an “adventure” Tell the English that it is a “honour” Tell the French that it is “romantic” Tell the…
An Irishman and a Mormon are seated next to each other on a plane… The flight attendant asks if they’d like anything to drink. The Irishman says “I’ll have a double shot of Jameson, and one for my new friend here.” “No no no,” says the Mormon. “I would rather be sodomized by a dozen…