A man on a business trip went out for breakfast When the waitress came to his booth, she asked “What can we get you?” The man paused and said “I’ll tell you what- I’d like the special, but I want my toast burned to a crisp, my bacon rubbery, my coffee weak and when you…
A guy in a diner orders a glass of sweet tea. A guy in a diner orders a glass of sweet tea. “No ice,” he tells the waitress. “I’d like it room temperature.” A few minutes later the waitress brings the guy his tea. He takes a sip and burns his mouth. “What the hell!”…
Smart waitress A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you…
the heads of Coors, Budweiser and Guinness go to lunch. So, the heads of Coors, Budweiser and Guinness are all sitting in a restaurant. When the waitress comes over she takes their drinks order first – ‘Ill have a silver bullet’ says the Coors guy – ‘Ill have the king of beers’ says the Budweiser…
A waitress, on her last day, decides to walk to each of her tables and lift up her skirt to proudly proclaim, “Super Pussy!”. She continues to do this over and over to the horror of her customers, until she reaches a table which sat an elderly man. She approaches him and lifts up her…
A couple is dining in a restaurant when suddenly the waitress catches the man slowly sliding under the table She sees that the woman is not bothered by this and assumes the worst… Thinking how to approach the situation, she slowly gets to the table and quietly tells the woman: “Ma’am, I think your husband…
A boorish man gave his order to the waitress… A boorish man gave his order to the waitress. “I’m going to start off with a half a dozen oysters on the half shell. You know what they say about oysters, don’t you, honey?” he asked as he winked at the woman. “They make you sexy.”…
Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe revising his draft of Being and Nothingness – a book about the philosophy of genuine choice versus just the appearance of having a choice. He says to the waitress, “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress, already a big fan, replies, “I’m…
A waitress spots a dejected looking man staring at the menu… Concerned, she approaches and asks if she can help. Man: I’d like to order my late wife’s usual meal but I can’t remember it… Waitress: I’m so sorry! Could you describe it to me? I’m sure we can figure out what her favorite was….
A man walks into a bar… and glances at the menu. * **Sandwiches, $2** * **Hand jobs, $5** He calls over to the waitress, a gorgeous young blonde woman who appeared to be in her mid-twenties. “Hey, hi there. Are you the one doing the hand jobs?” She smiles thinly, “Yes sir, I am.” “Well,…