I got a divorce for my birthday. When I woke up, my wife and kids forgot to wish me a happy birthday. I didn’t get any birthday cards or phone calls. When I went into work my secretary wished me happy birthday and I felt really special. We went out for a drink after work…
Teacher makes a call to her student to inform: “I’m busy tomorrow, so our class will be off” The student makes a call to his dad immediately: “I’m off tomorrow lets go to picnic!” The dad makes a call to his secretary immediately: ” I’m busy tomorrow, lets postpone our date to the next day!”…
With the economy sinking, the government orders a public poll to listen to its citizens and the results came in The president is excited in his cabinet, waiting for the secretary to hear the news about how the public is feeling. The secretary rushes in: “Well Mr President, the public is divided. The optmistic ones…
The boss was busy and did not want to be disturbed. ​ He told his secretary to tell visitors he didn’t want to be disturbed. If they persisted with some story about how important it was, she should tell them “That’s what they all say.” Later that day, the boss’ wife stopped by to visit…
A group of Soviet cosmonauts are called to the Kremlin. Upon arriving they are ushered to the Brezhnev office. – Ahem. – says Brezhnev. – Of course, you know that Americans sent their astronauts to the Moon. We, Soviet people, need to do better. So we are sending you on a mission to the Sun….
Sexual harassment The supervisor of a local firm is startled when his secretary bursts into his office to file a complaint of sexual harassment against a man working in the same department. “What on earth did he do?”, asks the boss. “It’s not what he did but what he said!”, the secretary shrieks. “He said…
the pope’s secretary rings him: “your eminence, excuse me for bothering you, but i have some good news & some bad news to share. which one would you like to hear first?” the pope answers “well let’s have the good news first” “jesus has returned & he’s holding for you on line 1.” the pope…
There are some eerie similarities between the assassinations of President Lincoln and Kennedy… Lincoln was elected into Congress in 1846. JFK was elected into Congress in 1946. Lincoln was elected President in 1860. JFK was elected President in 1960. Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy. Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln. A week before he…
The Promotion I came home from work last night and told my wife that I’ve been given a huge promotion at work which means I get my own office and I get to employ my own private secretary. “Well, you’d better hire someone who’s a bit old, fat and ugly” she said “I don’t want…
Georgia joke The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, “Y’all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus…