Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened. “First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his very young mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector,” says the Coroner. “Second body: “Scotsman, 25,…
The Morning Commute (Adapted Chinese Joke) Two guys carpooling to work approach a stop light while a hot, young girl driving a Porsche pulls up next to them. The passenger says to the driver, “I bet she’s the Mistress. At least she doesn’t have to work.” The woman overhearing the passenger screams back, “Asshole! If…
Having puppies **Three dogs are at the vet’s. Talking dog talk.** Rover, “Why are you guys here?” Sparky, “I been peeing all over the house. I’m going to get my nuts cut off.” Ruff. Barky, “I growl at everything. I’m going to get my nuts cut off. Ruff. How about you Rover?” Rover, “Well, my…
An Italian, a Frenchman and an Australian are talking about how good they are are sex… The Italian says “After I finish a making the love to my a wife, she is a glowing all a over and she floats a centimeter off a da bed!” The Frenchman replies, “Oui, after I haz made de…
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing… …whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion and mystery he found…
Two good friends go golfing Two good friends go golfing and they come up on two women who are moving like molasses. One guy says that he’ll go up and ask if they can play through. When he’s half way to the women, he freezes, turns around and comes back pretty pale. “Sorry man, I…
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face. The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened… “Well, the first body is a Frenchman, 60, who died of heart failure while making love to his…
An artist, architect, and engineer are at a bar… …talking about having a wife vs. a mistress. The artist declares that he prefers a mistress because he finds them more spontaneous and exciting. The architect says, “no, I much prefer a wife because I enjoy building that foundation with one woman and love the security…
A medieval astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress would soon die. Sure enough, the woman died a short time later. The king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman’s death. He summoned the astrologer and gave him this command: “Prophet, tell me when you will…
A dominatrix walks down the hallway of her brothel… …into one of the many rooms. Inside, there’s a man blindfolded, handcuffed, and chained to the floor. She walks up and slaps him as hard as she can and says, “Who’s my little bitch?” The man screams and yells, “What the fuck are doing?” The mistress…