An Arab student studying in Germany wrote a letter to his dad Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train. Your…
Timmy is in second grade studying subtraction when the teacher asks, “Timmy, if I have 5 cats and give you 2, how many cats do you have?” Timmy, “3.” Teacher, “no Timmy, if I have 5 cats and give you 2, I have 3 left. 5 minus 2 is 3. What if I have 5…
A teacher gathers her kids from recess and asks them what they did. Joey goes first: “I was playing kickball.” The teacher says, “Very good, Joey! Spell ‘ball’, and I’ll give you a cookie.” Janey goes next: “I was playing kickball with Joey.” “Very good, Janey! Spell ‘kick’, and I’ll give you a cookie!” Jordan…
A teacher asks her class to use ‘contagious’ in a sentence A teacher asks her class to use the word ‘contagious’ in a sentence. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, “Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious.” “Very good,” says the teacher. “Would anyone else like…
A school teacher in Hyderabad was once asked, “Can you make a sentence without using ‘E’?” “I doubt I can. It’s a major part of many many words. Omitting it is as hard as making muffins without flour. It’s as hard as spitting without saliva, napping without a pillow, driving a train without tracks, sailing…
Bad Math Grade A little boy comes home from school and tells his father, “I got an F in math today.” His father replies, “What happened?” The boy says, “Well, my teacher asked me, ‘What’s 3 times 2’, and I said 6.’” The father replies, “Well, that’s correct.” The boy says, “I know. Then she…
Worms Four earthworms are placed in four separate test tubes: 1st in beer 2nd in wine 3rd in whiskey 4th in mineral water The next day, the teacher shows the results: The 1st worm in beer, dead. The 2nd in wine, dead. The 3rd in whiskey, dead. The 4th in mineral water, alive and healthy….
A lawyer, an environmentalist and a teacher were going the bathroom. The lawyer gets done, washes his hands and uses the entire roll of tissue paper to wipe his hands. “I was taught to be thorough.”, he said. The environmentalist washes his hands and uses his own kerchief to wipe his hands. “I was taught…
I got thrown out of math class today. The teacher asked me “If I gave you $20 and you gave $5 to Katie, $5 to Claire and $5 to Laura, what would you have?” Apparently, 3 blowjobs and enough left for a kebab wasn’t the answer… EDIT: Holy, this blew up fast. Kind of like…
A student receives a bad grade on his exam And he goes to talk to the teacher, convinced that he’s been graded unfairly. He says to the teacher “I think I deserve some points on these questions, even if my answers weren’t entirely correct!” The teacher sighs and says “ok, I’ll take another look at…