An Irishman in a bar hears a familiar accent, and says to the guy next to him “Are you Irish, then?” “That I am” “Well I”l be, let’s have a whiskey! Where are you from?” “Dublin” “Me too!, That calls for another drink: Bartender!” “Where in Dublin”, says the other feller “Temple Bar” “Fuck Me!…
A math teacher welcomed a new French exchange student into her class and then started teaching a lesson on fractions. The French exchange student raised his hand and said, “Excuse me Madam, but I don’t know how to say fractions. How do you say those?” “Easy,” said the teacher, “you just say the top number…
10 engineering professors board a plane Once they are inside and the plane is a about to take off, the air hostess comes out and tells everyone that the plane has been made by the students of those teachers. Immediately 9 of the professors get up and run away from the plane while one of…
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher “Master, why does my ability not improve? I’m always defeated.” And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers: “My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seeming like flames?” “Yes, my master, I have.” “And a waterfall, spilling mightly over…
“This term,” said the English teacher, “we will be studying ‘The Canterbury Tales’ ” “But,” she added, “to anticipate a question I get every year — this will not include *The Nun’s Priest’s Tale*” “Why not?” asked one of the pupils. The teacher’s features shaped themselves into an expression of sour disapproval. “Because,” she answered,…
Teacher asks her class “What expands ten times it’s size when excited?” Teacher asks her class “What expands ten times it’s size when excited?” Little Suzie jumps up from her chair and shouts “That’s dirty miss. I’m going to tell my father.” At this the teacher looks at little Suzie and says, the answer is…
Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?” Johnny: “Seven.” Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?” Johnny: “Seven.” Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I…
The teacher asks, “Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?” The teacher asks, “Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?” Flora blushes and says, “That’s disgusting, I won’t even answer that question.” The teacher calls on Johnny: “What part of the human body increases ten…
A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word “definitely.” To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raises his hand and says, “The sky is definitely blue.” The teacher says,…
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, “Master, why does my ability not improve? I’m always defeated.” And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers… “My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?” “Yes, my master, I have.” “And a waterfall, spilling mightly over…