I’m not having much luck with jobs lately. I wasn’t suited to be a tailor. The muffler factory was just exhausting. I couldn’t cut it as a barber. I didn’t have the patience to be a doctor. I wasn’t a good fit in the shoe factory even though I put my soul into it. The…
A jew in his deathbed… A jew in his deathbed is surrounded by his family. He asks if the wife is there; she was. He asks if his son was there; he was. He asked if his daughter was there, and she was. As he finds out everyone’s there, he has a heart attack. His…
Olympic Condoms. (NSFW) A man was shopping in a nearby supermarket when he noticed a package that said “Olympic Condoms”. He bought it, and told his wife about it. ” – Olympic Condoms? What’s so special about them?” ” – They have 3 colors: Gold, Silver and Bronze.” ” – And what color are you…
I was out shopping tonight, when I saw a new brand of condoms called, “Olympic.” Trying to get in to the spirit of things, I bought a pack and when I got home, I sprinted in singing the Olympic theme song and proudly showed them to my wife… “Olympic condoms!?” she asked. “What makes them…
Little Johnny walks into an ice cream shop, orders six large ice cream cones, then sits down and eats them all, one after another. Another customer sees this, goes over to his table, and says “Hey kid! Don’t you know that eating ice cream like that is bad for your health?” “Yeah, well, my grandfather…
My wife texted “I’m leaving you” And followed with “after lunch to go shopping with my sister.” I asked why in the world she sent the message that way. “I just wanted you to realize how good you have it with me.” I texted her back “Remind your sister she said she would come over…
A Frenchman sees a poster in front of a bakery: Croissant €1. Handjob €5 He enters the shop and sees a gorgeous young lady behind the counter. He then asks: “Mademoiselle, are you the one that delivers the handjobs?” Very shy, the girl looks down, blushes and replies with a giggle: “O-Oui monsieur, I am…
So I walked into a sex shop the other day… Me: I’m looking for a blow up doll Manager: Great, we have plenty! What gender? Me: I’d like a female. Manager: Awesome, and would you like the doll to be Christian, Protestant, or Muslim? Me: (confused) Why does the religion matter? What’s the difference? Manager:…
On his death bed, an old jew says to his wife: Oh, Sarah, when the shop burned down you were right beside me, no? – Sure I was, Moshe. When the Nazis drove us out of our beloved Deutschland you were beside me again, no? – I was, Moshe. And now you’re at my death…
Two lesbians named Rachel walk in to a wedding cake shop… To plan for their upcoming nuptials. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can’t believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage we won’t even bake a cake. The baker replies, “No…