A lumberjack walks into a shop to buy a chainsaw… The shopkeeper picks one out and says “this one can cut down 5 trees in 2 minutes”. The lumberjack is impressed by this and buys the chainsaw. 2 days later, the lumberjack comes back to the shop with the chainsaw and asks for a refund….
At a doll store Man: “Do you work here?” Lady: “Yes!” “I need to buy a Barbie doll for my daughter. How much are they?” “Which Barbie? We have Barbie goes to the gym for $19.95, Barbie goes to the ball for $19.95, Barbie goes to the beach for $19.95, Barbie goes shopping for $19.95,…
A multimillionaire goes to a psychologist [OC] So, the multimillionaire is lying there on the couch, and he says, “I have this problem where I buy things. Big things, little things. It doesn’t matter if it’s a good deal or not. It doesn’t matter whether or not I need it. It’s the thrill of the…
blonde tried to sell her old car… She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250 000 miles. One day she told her problem to a friend she worked with. The friend told her, “OK,” said the friend. “Here’s the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car…
A husband and wife were grocery shopping when the husband picked up a case of Budweiser and placed it in the cart. “What do you think you’re doing?” asked the wife. “It’s on sale. Only $10 for a case,” he replies. “We can’t afford it. Put it back,” demands the wife. They continue shopping and…
On his deathbed, an old Jew says to his wife….. “Oh, Sarah, when the shop burned down you were right beside me.” The wife nodded dutifully, “I was, Moshe” He labored a bit and then said, “When the Nazis drove us out of our beloved Deutschland you were beside me again.” The wife tearfully said,…
A dumb kid walks into an ice cream shop… Kid: “I’ll have a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of chocolate please.” Clerk: “Sorry kid, we’re out of chocolate.” Kid: “OK. Make it a scoop of strawberry and a scoop of chocolate.” Clerk: “No, no, you don’t understand, it’s *chocolate* we’re out of,” Kid: “Ah,…
A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. “How much is that Barbie in the window?” he asks the shop assistant. In a manner, she responds, “Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95,…
An OverweightTime Traveler goes to ancient rome An Overweight Time Traveler goes to ancient rome and realizes he wore historically incorrect clothes for the trip. Realizing his mistake he visits a toga shop to purchase new clothes. He looks around the shop and realizes they do not have togas big enough to fit him. He…
A little girl walks into a pet shop A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, “Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?” The shopkeeper bends down to her level, smiling, “Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby, or maybe…