On his birthday, an old guy is going around the nursing home, entertaining himself by saying, “Guess how old I am! Guess how old I am!” “I don;t know, 81? 82?” “Nope! Nope! I’m 95!” He approaches an old lady sitting by herself in the hall, and says, “Guess how old I am!” “OK.” She…
A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walked into a bar. A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar. The nurse sits down and says, “I’ll have a shot of tequila!” The doctor sits next to her and says, “Give me a shot of whiskey!” The bartender turns to the anti-vaxxer, “and…
A nurse walks into a bank… A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. She grabs a deposit slip, pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse, and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller and, without missing a beat, says, “well,…
Two babies are next to eachother in the nursing ward of the hospital One proudly says to the other: “I am a boy!” The other one says: “I don’t believe you, you have to show me!” The first one says: “Fine, just wait until the nurse leaves the room” When finally the nurse leaves the…
A man was in hospital and a nurse was giving him a bed bath with a sponge The man asked her are my testicles black? The nurse replied she wasn’t going to be washing them. The man kept asking, are my testicles black? Eventually she agreed to have a look, she raised the covers and…
Doctors and nurses A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter. Johnny’s mother says, “Let’s not be too harsh on them… they are bound to be curious about sex at that age.” “Curious about sex?” replies Mary’s mother. “He’s taken…
An elderly man lay on his deathbed An elderly man lay on his deathbed, surrounded by his wife, three kids, and a nurse. With a deep breath, he began speaking: “Bill, you get the Beverly Hills houses. Mary, the offices in the Center Center are yours. Debra, the apartments over the L.A. Plaza are all…
A woman awakes from sedation after giving birth to quadruplets A nurse comes in and says, “since your husband was with you while you recovered, your brother said he’d fill out the babies’ paperwork.” “My idiot brother, the drummer named my babies?! What he did name them??” “Let’s see… first there’s Anna.” “That’s not so…