So a woman had been in a coma for a few years. . . And everyday, when the nurse comes in to bathe her, she notices slight changes in her vital stats whenever she washes near her crotch. So the nurse fetches the woman’s husband and says, “I think a little oral sex is all…
4 men are in the hospital waiting room waiting for their babies The nurse walks in and tells the first man: “Congratulations you’re having twins.” The man responds: “That’s a crazy coincidence, i work for the Minnesota twins.” The nurse tells the second man: “Congratulations you’re having triplets.” The man responds: “That’s a crazy coincidence,…
At the hospital on the battlefield A severely wounded General was carried in. The doctor immediately started operate on the general in attempt to save his life. During the surgery, the nurse had an uncanny face and acted odd. All of a sudden, the nurse took out a knife and stabbed the doctor. While crying,…
Raped by an elephant A man crawls into the emergency room profusely bleeding from his anus. “Somebody help! I’ve been raped by an elephant!” The staff was able to get him into surgery to stop the bleeding. Examining the initial hole, the nurse was amazed. It was as as wide as a dinner plate! She…
I’d been in a serious accident. Thursday night I gradually woke up stiff as a plank in hospital’s ICU, tubes up my nose & down my throat, wires monitoring every function & all around my head, hell of a pain over my left ear, and a gorgeous nurse hovering over me. It was obvious I’d…
Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan’s side. It even learned to dig for clams. One day, a man went to Juan’s house looking to hire him for a week. His wife…
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Nigerian are in a maternity ward waiting room A nurse comes in and says, “Gentlemen, I’m sorry, but there’s been a mixup with the babies. Could you please help sort it out?” She takes them to the nursery and shows two white babies and one black baby. The Englishman…
Three friends were bragging about who has the most sex. The first guy starts, “Y’all ain’t got nothing on me! I can go to any bar and bring home a new woman every night! Not only that, but I drive a corvette and have an 8 inch penis! I’ve slept with more than 1,000 women!”…
An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Ethiopian all sit in the hospital lobby as their wives are giving birth. After a while the doctor comes out, invites them into the nursery where 3 babies lie in cribs and says: “Congratulation! You all just became fathers! But there is one problem. Due to a nurse’s error…
I just successfully pulled-off the ‘key to comedy’ joke around my surgery. As I felt the anaesthetic starting to kick in I said, ‘I have a joke’. ‘Better be quick!’ The anaesthetist said. ‘Do you know what the key to comedy is?’ Then I smiled and passed out. When I woke up a couple of…