A thief entered a house one mid-afternoon to find… a couple in the middle of lovemaking. He tied up the woman and at gun-point asked the man to handover all their money and jewellery. The man started sobbing and said, “Brother, take anything you want. But please, untie the rope and let her go.” The…
A Swiss man is in hospital, all sorts of bones broken His neighbour asks him: “How did you do that?” Swiss: “I’m a bear hunter!” Neighbour: “And…what happened?” Swiss: “I stood at a small cave and said: ‘Hoi Bärli!’ A small bear came out and I let it go! Then I went to a medium-sized…
A baby is born And to the surprise of everybody, after a few minutes, he starts talking. “I was born to live 3 days” he says “my mother will die in 6 days and my father in 14 days” After 3 days the baby dies. After 6 days it is the mother to pass away….
A teacher asks his students to make a sentence with the word “contagious”… …Sally answers, “Viruses are contagious.” “Very good Sally. Anybody else?”, the teacher says. Ben puts up his hand, “When I hear someone laugh, I like to laugh as well, because laughter is contagious”. “Thankyou Ben, that was a good example”, replies the…
Legs Up Nina comes home after school and asks her mother “mommy, why do people go to heaven with their legs up?”. Mother responds: “I don’t think that’s true, Nina. Why do you think so?”. “Because I just walked past the neighbours house” Nina says “and the lady was screaming ‘Oh God, i’m coming’, so…
A tenant goes to his upstairs neighbour! He says: “I’m renovating my living room and since your flat is the same as mine, I’m wondering, how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your living room?” Neighbour: “I bought 13 rolls!” After a week the tenant calls his neighbour: “Hey, I also bought 13…
Everyday my 90 year old neighbour who has alzhiemers knocks on my door Everyday my 90 year old neighbour who has alzhiemers knocks on my door and asks me if I’ve seen his wife . And everyday I have to tell that 90 year old man his wife has been long dead . You know…
A teacher asks if anyone in the class can use the word “contagious” in a sentence. Jenny puts her hand up and says “My mum says we should stay home when we’re sick incase we’re contagious.” “That’s right” the teacher says, “Anyone else?” Susie says “My grandma says a smile can be contagious.” “Very good”…
Here is joke about Canada don’t take it seriously Credits to u/commonschemeforyou ***God was creating all the countries and it was Canada’s turn*** He turned to his angels and said “this country will have unmatched beauty, plenty of natural resources, and its citizens will be the happiest and friendliest in the world” The angels ask…
During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny “have you ever heard of the word contagious before?” “Of course miss” Johnny replies “my father actually said it when we were talking yesterday”. “Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence?” “Yes, miss. We were watching the…