A teacher in Ireland is giving an English lesson and asks the class for examples of when they have heard the word “contagious” being used… One eager child says, “Daddy says to cover my mouth when I cough because my cold is contagious!” “Very good!” replied the teacher. “Has anybody else got an example?” “My…
Little Johnny’s neighbour had a baby but it was born without ears. Little Johnny and his mum went to visit the baby but he was warned if he mentioned its ears he would be in trouble. Johnny looked into the cot and said ‘what a lovely baby, good feet hands and skin. How is his…
On day six of the Creation, God announced to his archangel underlings, “Today we’re creating a place called Canada. “Today we’re creating a place called Canada. Pull out all the stops. Give it beautiful mountains, lakes, plains, forests, and sandy beaches. Underground, give it oil, gold, etc. Oh, and plenty of fish and wildlife.” “Sir,”…
My Lesbian Neighbours Asked Me… My Lesbian neighbours Eva and Julia asked me to help them conceive a child recently. They said they wouldn’t mind if we did it the “old fashioned way” as they were pretty outgoing. For 3 months now we’ve been trying but I just don’t have the heart to tell them…
God was creating all the countries and it was Canada’s turn He turned to his angels and said “this country will have unmatched beauty, plenty of natural resources, and its citizens will be the happiest and friendliest in the world” The angels ask God, “aren’t you blessing this country a little TOO much?” and God…
God said to Gabriel: “I’ve finally finished my masterpiece. Beautiful mountains, spectacular lochs, and whisky – the most amazing drink in my creation. I shall call this land ‘Scotland’” “That sounds fantastic” Gabriel said. “What have the people of this land done to deserve all this?” “Well” said God. “Wait til you see the neighbours…