A teacher asks her class to use the word “contagious”. Roland, the teacher’s pet, gets up and says, “Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious.” “Well done, Roland,” says the teacher. “Can anyone else try?” Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, “My grandma says there’s a bug…
The phone rings at FBI headquarters. “Hello?” “Hello, is this FBI?” “Yes. What do you want?” “I’m calling to report my neighbour Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood.” “This will be noted.” Next day, the FBI comes over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece…
(Irish joke, sorry guys). A teacher is giving an English lesson on the word “Contagious”… …She asks the class for examples of when they have heard the word being used. One eager child says “Daddy says to cover my mouth when I cough because my cold is contagious”. “Very good!” replied the teacher, “has anybody…
A teacher asks her class to come up with a sentence… …that contains the word “contagious.” Amy stands up and says “Last week my mummy had the flu. It was contagious.” “Very good,” says the teacher. “Anyone else?” Then Becky stands up and says “a long time ago the Bubonic Plague affected a lot of…
A teacher asks her class to use the word ‘contagious’… Teacher’s pet gets up and says, “Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious.” “Well done, Roland,” says the teacher, “can anyone else try?” Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, “My grandma says there’s a bug going round,…
A woman calls the cops about her neighbour. A woman calls the cops and says, “You have to get an officer over here right now. The man in the building across from me is walking around naked. It’s indecent!” A policeman comes to her door, and the woman leads him into the living room and…
My dog came bounding into the house this morning with the neighbour’s rabbit hanging lifeless from it’s jaws. Panic set in and so I scrubbed it clean and got all the blood marks off until it was pure white again. I then sneaked into their garden and popped it back in its hutch. That evening…
My neighbour owes me £500 and he won’t pay up… A man went to his lawyer and told him, ‘My neighbour owes me £500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?’ ‘Do you have any proof he owes you the money?’ asked the lawyer. ‘Nope,’ replied the man. ‘OK, then write him a…
My neighbour owes me £500 and he won’t pay up……….. A man went to his lawyer and told him, ‘My neighbour owes me £500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?’ ‘Do you have any proof he owes you the money?’ asked the lawyer. ‘Nope,’ replied the man. ‘OK, then write him a…
Two kids camping in the backyard Two kids are camping in their backyard, it’s gotten pretty late and neither of them have watches. “What time do you think it is?” One of them asks the other. “Just make a ton of noise” says the other. The first kid gets confused and decides to do it…