A woman is walking home with her 3 daughters. The eldest daughter turns to her mother and asks “How did I get my name mummy?” “Well sweetie, when we were bringing you home from the hospital, a rose petal fell on your head! So that’s why we named you Rose.” The second daughter, now curious,…
My daughter came up to me and said My daughter came up to me and said “daddy when my cat died why were its legs in the air?” I replied “well that’s so Jesus can grab it to take it to heaven.” “That means mummy nearly died this morning!” She said, I asked “how?” “well…
Where do babies come from? A little girl asks her dad “Where do babies come from?” and the dad explains to her “Well, babies are made when two people love each other and then the daddy puts his penis in the mummy’s vagina.” The little girl then asks “If that is where babies com from…
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word ‘beautiful’ in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, ‘My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.’ ‘Very good, Suzie,’ replied…
Child walks in on parents in coitus Mummy and Daddy are having sex and their beautiful child walks in. Flustered, Mummy leaps off the bed (and off her husband) and wittingly tries to console what she thinks is her scarred son. son: mummy, what’s going on? mum: oh son! I was just helping your daddy…
A 6 year old runs up to her mother… DAUGHTER: Mummy, why don’t boys have vaginas? MOTHER: They have a penis instead. DAUGHTER: Does Daddy have a penis? MOTHER: Yeah. DAUGHTER: What does a penis look like? The mother thinks for a moment. MOTHER: It looks a bit like Pinocchio’s nose! The six year old…
Little Sam loves ninjas He has a ninja costume, throwing stars, the whole shebang. One day he’s playing and whacks himself in the eye with a nunchuck. He runs downstairs to his mum, bawling. “Mummy, look what happened!” She sees the welt and screams, “Sam, your eye!” Sam stops crying, looks up and says, “For…
My wife was in the garden. She started yelling to me. Her: There are two spiders here, “is that a mummy longlegs under the daddy longlegs.? Me: No don’t be silly there are no mummy longlegs only daddy longlegs. “I felt pretty proud of myself with my answer. Until she stomps on both spiders, “Well…
A door to door salesman… A door to door salesman was making his rounds. he stops at one house and knocks on the door. a little boy of about eight opens the door, cigarette in one hand, bottle of beer in the other. “oh,” says the salesman, “little boy, is your mummy home?” the boy…
The Biggest Coward Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest coward. The first kid says,” My dad is so scared that when a lightning strikes my dad slides underneath our bed.” The second kid goes,” That’s nothing, my dad is so scared, that when mummy works night shift, my dad sleeps with…