A drunk man was at the checkout waiting to buy more beer when… ..a young women behind him began placing her items down. She had a bottle of wine, ice cream, scented candles, a magazine, and some tampons. She notices the drunk man watching her and decides to add condoms to her pile from off…
A girl reaches into the glove compartment of her boyfriends car for a condom… and finds one missing. They had bought that box together, and it was now open and missing one. Furious, she asked him what the deal was. “Oh, I masturbated with one on, just to see what it would feel like.” Satisfied…
Two older women were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. . First Lady:Whats that? Second Lady: A condom. This way my cigarette doesnt get wet. First Lady: Where did…
A middle aged man needs to buy condoms, but he doesn’t know what size he needs… So he asks the cashier at the checkout line. She reaches over the counter, grabs his crotch, and calls out over the intercom, “Medium condoms needed at register 3!” An older gentleman has the same problem later that day,…
A man bought a box with 100 condoms… When he came home he counted the condoms, and to his dismay found that here were only 99 condoms in the box. He immediately wrote an email to the company, to complain about the missing condom. Already the next day he got an express delivery with a…
A 22yr old woman seduces a wealthy 85yr old man. She figures, how bad could it be? He’s worth millions and maybe I marry him. The first night, she’s naked in the bedroom, waiting for him to come out of the bathroom. The old man walks out with a huge erection, a box of condoms,…
A child asked her mom “how did I come to this world?” The mom, misty eyed answered, “Once upon a time your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day. The little seed grew more and more leaves,…
Buying aspirin Joe has always had an uncontrollable twitch in his left eyelid since young. Fred has a splitting headache and asks Joe to go get some aspirins. Half an hour later Joe comes back with a dozen packets of condoms. “I asked you to get me aspirins, not condoms.” “Yeah, I went to a…
An army sergeant walks into a drugstore and places a ragged condom on the counter. “How much to repair this?”, he asks. The pharmacist looks over the condom, saying “It’s ripped in a couple of places, and there are several holes in it, but it’s repairable. But honestly, I’d just replace it with a new…
A man walks into a store to buy condoms He notices that there are Olympic condoms on sale. He returns home and tells his wife, “Honey I bought Olympic condoms for us tonight!” Wife: What’s so special about them. Husband: Well, there’s a gold one, a silver one and a bronze one. Wife: Which one…