Three guys laugh at how silly their wives are Man number 1 says “My wife is so silly she bought a kitchen for £12,000 and she can’t even cook” Man number two who’s laughing says “you think that’s bad? My Wife paid £40,000 for a car and she can’t even drive” And the last man…
Counting CONDOMS A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display. Boy: “Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?” Dad: “Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights.” Boy: “So, why do they make packs of three?” Dad: “For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday…
A woman goes into a drugstore. “Do you sell XL condoms?” she asks the pharmacist. “Yes, of course, family planning is in aisle 5,” he replies. “Thanks,” she says, and walks over. About a half hour later the pharmacist is stocking shelves and sees the woman still standing in aisle 5. “Did you find the…
Three nuns are gossiping about a priest. The first nun said, “I was going through father’s desk and found pornographic magazines in his drawer.” The second nun gasped and asked, “What did you do with them?” “I burned them.” The second nun then said, “I was going through father’s drawers and found a box of…
A man with 12 kids visits his Dr., asking for advice on how to prevent future pregnancies… “Have you tried condoms?” Asks the Dr. “I did, and it resulted in 3 kids!” said the man. “Have you tried birth control?” “I did! And it resulted in another 3 kids!” “Have you tried IUD (intrauterine implants)?”…
Man and his wife are trying to spice up their marriage So the husband comes home with a packet of flavoured condoms. He says to his wife; “We’ll play a game. I’ll turn the light off, I’ll put on the condom and you try and guess the flavour”. His wife goes down on him and…
The government reveals their new logo today…. The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a condom. I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of…
Olympic Condoms A man gets home one day from work and excitedly shows off to his wife that he bought a pack of *Olympic Condoms*. “What do you say I slip on a gold one and we give it a go?” He asks her with a grin. She simply responds, “Why don’t you try out…
Back in the Soviet era, the Kiwis military got a telex from the Soviet Antiartic base. “We’ve been granted a weekend of Shore Leave for 10 of us in Aukland for next week. We are requesting 25 dozen condoms… Back in the Soviet era, the Kiwis military got a telex from the Soviet Antiartic base….
A guy picks up a beautiful blonde girl and takes her back to his place… They have wild passionate sex and lay there panting when it’s all over. All of a sudden, she sits up all scared. “Wait! We should have used a condom! You don’t have AIDS, do you!?” The guy says, “No. I’m…