I man had a girlfriend named Wendy… …he decided to get a tattoo of her name on his penis. When erect, it read “Wendy”, and when flaccid, all you saw was “W” and “Y”. Out for dinner one day, he excused himself to the bathroom and went to the urinal, next to him was a…
A teenager sits next to an old man on a bench… … and the old man will not stop staring at him. The kid had a long, spiky mohawk that was different colors. His arms and neck were covered in tattoos, and multiple piercings in his nostrils and ears. Finally, the kid, sick of the…
A man wants to show his love to his wife…. so he decides to get her name, Whitney, tattooed on his erected penis, and when he is flaccid all you can see in a “w” and a “y.” A week later the married couple go on vacation to Jamaica. While peeing at the urinal the…
A white man was on holiday in Jamaica The man had recently gotten a tattoo on his penis. When it stretched out, it would spell «Anne», but it only said «Ae» when flaccid. One day after he and his wife were done at the beach, he went to the public showers and saw a Jamaican…
A blind man walks into a bar, sits down at the counter and orders a double martini. Realising that there are several people sitting around him, he says: “I’m going to tell you the best joke about blondes you’ve ever heard.” The woman next to him says: “Before you tell the joke, i’m going to…
Back tattoos. I posted this joke in r/funny but someone suggested that this was a more appropriate subreddit. Anyway, here’s my joke: I was at the beach the other day and I saw a girl with a big iguana tattoo on her back, and I thought, “that’s really sexy.” Well, it’s not so much that…
I had to get blood drawn recently… …and I explained to the phlebotomist that I am deeply bothered by IV’s and blood drawing generally, and may need to sit for a minute after she was finished with the vials. As most phlebotomists I have seen in my life do, she mentioned that it was surprising…
A man goes on Holiday in Madrid After exploring the Spanish country he decides to get a tattoo, and gets a bull on his arm. A few days later, he is on a tour with a guide, when the guide says “hey, that looks swollen,” The man replies “really?! Do you know anywhere I can…
So I was at the bar the other day… …and suddenly, I feel a large slap on my ass. Turning around, I spot the ugliest woman imaginable; she was large, heavily tattooed, and caked with metric tonnes of makeup. She said to me, “Hey there, guy. I saw you over there and thought you should…
An old man was sitting on a bench… When a teenage skater punk sat down next to him. The kid has tattoos and piercings and a Mohawk dyed a half a dozen different colors. He notices the old man won’t stop staring at him so says to him “What, you’ve never done anything fun in…