A man returns home to find his wife smiling mischievously. Wife: “Honey, can you take something out of the oven for me please?” The husband opens the oven and finds a baking tray with a piece of paper on it. The paper reads: “What did the woman say when she got her pregnancy results? You’ve…
During the cold war The USSR had an epidemic of unplanned pregnancies, so they unwillfuly asked the US for aid since they dudnt had the technology to produce good condoms. They didn’t wanted to look weak so they asked for 1 billion 11 inch condoms. The Americans got their request and didn’t wanted to look…
Naming the kids A guy named Jay walks into a bar and orders a beer. “How’s your wife doing?” the bartender asks. “She’s doing great. The doctor says the pregnancy is going well and we can expect two healthy twin girls,” Jay replies. “I’d really like to name them after myself, but can’t decide on…
A boy came to his mother and asked her “Mom, where did I come from?” The woman explained intercourse, insemination, conception, pregnancy and birth to her son in easy-to-understand terms. However, he still was puzzled, so she asked him “Do you understand what I said?” The boy replied “Yes, I do, but what I want…
Blonde Joke Three pregnant women were having brunch together, discussing pregnancy matter, and the subject of the baby’s gender came up. Brunette: My baby’s going to be a boy because when my husband and I conceived, I was on top. Redhead: My baby is going to be a girl because I was on the bottom….
Birth control alternatives A husband and wife walk into a doctors office looking for alternative options for birth control as the pill is quite hormoney and the husband is allergic to latex. They ask the doctor “we’ve been thinking about exclusively practising anal sex, surely there’s no pregnancy risk there!” Doctor replies “don’t be silly,…
Early pregnancy A sexy young woman, out of breath, boarded a bus with no vacant seats. She asked a man, “Sir, can I have your place, I’m pregnant.” The man willingly relinquished his seat, but then commented, “You are very pretty, but you sure don’t look like you’re pregnant.” “Well,” said the woman, “that’s because…
A woman, pregnant with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician’s office. After the examination, she shyly said, “My husband wants me to ask you…” To which the doctor replies, “I know…I know…” placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in…
There was a married couple named Cody and Vicky. After being together for 5 years, they decided to have a baby. After numerous attempts Vicky gets pregnant. 7 months into the pregnancy they start to think about baby names. Neither of them could come to an agreement so they decided to combine their names for…
Grudge Pregnancy A man went to the doctor and said, “My wife’s pregnant, but we haven’t had sex in over a year. I don’t understand it.” ​ The doctor said, “It’s what we in the medical profession call a grudge pregnancy.” ​ The man asked, “What’s a grudge pregnancy?” ​ The doctor replied, “Well, somebody’s…