A nun was sitting in the bath…. ….when there was a knock on the door. Oh no, she thought. I can’t let anyone in here while I’m taking a bath. “Who is it?” she called out in trepidation. “It’s the blind man,” came the reply. Well, I suppose if it’s a blind man there’s no…
The children were lined up in the cafeteria… The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, “Take only one. God is watching.” Moving further along…
God is watching The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: ‘Take only ONE . God is watching.’ Moving further along the lunch line, at…
A man rushes into a bar and orders a double brandy. While the barman is pouring, the man extends his hand at knee height and asks: “Do penguins grow this big?” “I should think so,” the barman replies. The man raises his hand. “How about this big?” “Well, perhaps a king penguin, but I’m not…
Three nuns die and go to heaven, but all must answer one question to get in. The first nun is asked, “Who was the first man on Earth?” She says, “Adam.” Lights flash and the pearly gates open. The second nun is asked, “Who was the first woman on Earth?” She says, “Eve.” Lights flash…
A nun asks her class, “Who knows what city Jesus was born in?” Little Johnny raises his hand and shouts, “Cheltenham!” The nun shakes her head and says, “No. Anyone else?” Little Johnny raises his hand again and shouts, “Willow Grove!” Again, the nun shakes her head. “Nope. Anyone else?” Little Johnny jumps up and…
A priest drives up to the repair joint and says to the mechanic, “Hey, I brought this car in last week, and ever since it’s been leaking oil all over my garage.” The mechanic says, “I’m terribly sorry, Father. Come back in an hour and we’ll have it fixed right up for you.” An hour…
A man takes a stool at the bar and orders a drink. Then he asks the man to the right of him… “How tall is a Penguin, this tall?” “No, they’re much shorter than that”, he answers. He looks to the man at his left- “How tall is a penguin, this tall?” “Nowhere near that…
A trucker is driving his rig at night He’s on the phone to one of his mates. At one point he asks: “Fred, what would you say is the height of the largest type of penguin?” “That’s a really weird question Tom, but I guess around 120cm” “Ah… are you sure? Not tall as say,…
A man walks into a bar, orders a double bourbon, neat, and downs it in a single gulp. “How big is a penguin?” he asks. The barman says, “Around 18 inches.” He orders another double bourbon, neat, and gulps it down. “What’s the biggest a penguin can ever be?” The barman frowns. “Three feet, maybe…