Little Johnny, annoyed by all the rules he has to follow in the house, goes to his dad. “Dad, I’m 10, but still have to get permission to leave the house, to stay out late with my friends, to skip school, to eat what I want, to buy what I want. At what age will…
A father went shopping with his 3 year old son The child was crying loudly and the father kept repeating calmly: “It’s ok Johnny, don’t cry Johnny, everything’s gonna be fine.” When they reach the cashier, the child continued to cry louder but the father kept reapeating calmly: “We’re almost done Johnny, you’re gonna be…
Johnny paid his way through college by waitering in a restaurant. “What’s the usual tip?” asked a customer. “Well,” said Johnny, “this is my first day, but the other guys said that, if I got five dollars out of you, I’d be doing great.” “Is that so?” growled the customer. “In that case, here’s twenty…
A 2nd grade teacher decides to teach sex ed… to her class. She starts out by drawing a penis on the chalk board and asks the class, “Does anyone know what this is?” And little Johnny says, “Yes, my dad has 2 of them!” And the teacher says, “Are you sure about that?” And little…
So the third grade teacher asks the class, “Can anyone give an example of a long compound sentence?” Mary stands up and says, “My mom gets up early every day and she brushes her hair, does her makeup, puts on her prettiest dress, nicest earrings, her highest heels; then she leaves the house to go…
A teacher asked her third grade class to name things that ended with “tor” that eat other things. The first little boy said, “Alligator.” “Very good James, that’s a big word.” The second boy said, “Predator.” “Yes, that’s another big word Alan. Very well done.” Little Johnny says, “Vibrator.” After nearly falling off her chair,…
A kindergarten teacher was observing the children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s artwork. As she got to Little Johnny who was working diligently, she asked what his drawing was. Little Johnny replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”…
Little Johnny, just past his fifth birthday, sits silently at breakfast with his mom and dad, as always—never having spoken a word. His mom sets down his bowl of oatmeal. Johnny takes a bite, then suddenly slams his spoon down and yells, “THIS OATMEAL SUCKS!” His parents freeze, absolutely stunned. His mom gasps, “Johnny! You…