The Five Stages of Sex 1st is Smurf sex. This is where you do it until you’re both blue in the face. 2nd is kitchen sex. This is the honeymoon phase where you do it in every room of the house, including the kitchen. 3rd is bedroom sex. This is after you’ve been married for…
Redneck Wedding After the ceremony the new couple arrive at their honeymoon suite at the Motel 6 and the new bride says ‘you will be careful won’t you?’ The young hubby is a bit confused and asks ‘Why?’ She explains that she is still a virgin He throws his stuff back into his suitcase and…
Still a virgin,,, A couple got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love making, the wife tells the husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” The husband being shocked, replied, “How’s this possible? You’ve been married three times before.” The wife responds, “Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and…
A married couple never fought, not even once in 25 years of marriage. A friend of the couple asked, “How is that even possible?” Husband replied, “Well, we went to a Ranch for our honeymoon. While horseback riding, my wife’s horse jumped and my wife fell off. She got up patted the horse and said,…
A couple from Alabama get married. They go off to Las Vegas for their honeymoon. They get settled in their room for their first night together. As he’s getting ready to take off his robe, she says “Be gentle. It’s my first time”. He gets outraged, packs his stuff, and leaves. His dad lets him…
Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was organizing his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks: “Tim, I’ve been thinking, now that we’re married maybe it’s time you quit golfing. You spend so…
Probably one for British people A man and his wife were on their honeymoon and about to do the deed. The wife stops the husband unexpectedly. “Darling,” she says. “I am afraid I have a dark secret to tell you, and I haven’t been entirely honest with you.” “Sweetheart, no matter what you have done…
Honeymoon The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort in Hilton Head, South Carolina, looking all fresh, and eager to enjoy their two week vacation/honeymoon. The stunning blonde at the front desk smiled and said, “Well, hi Jimmy, how ya been lover ? Long time no see.” A frosty silence prevailed…
Honeymoon in Australia My wife and I went on our honyemoon to Australia. Unfortunately, I had to dial the help line. “G’day this is Tim, you’ve reached the Aussie help line. How can we help ya?” I told him, “We were in the ocean and my wife was stung by a jellyfish on her lady…
A good job A man and his wife go to their honeymoon place for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I…