Category: Date Jokes

While watching TV with his wife, a man tosses peanuts into the air and catches them in his mouth. Just as he throws another peanut into the air, the front door opens, causing him to turn his head. The peanut falls into his ear and gets stuck. His daughter comes in with her date. The…

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were…

A guy falls in love with a very traditional girl.. A guy falls in love with a very traditional and conservative girl, that means no sex before marriage. But he doesn’t care, he loves her. After a year or two of dating he decides its time to propose. So he heads to her fathers house…

A guy falls in love with a very traditional and conservative girl… …that means no sex before marriage. But he doesn’t care, he loves her. After a year of dating he decides its time to propose to her. So he heads to her father’s house to ask for his blessing. “Hello, sir, I’m here to…

It’s 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Peggy Sue’s father answers the door and invites him in. He asks Bobby what they’re planning to do on the date. Bobby politely responds that they’ll probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie. Peggy Sue’s father suggests, “Why…

A teacher is teaching good manners to her third-grade class and asks them how they would excuse themselves to use the restroom during a dinner date. Michael answers, “Just a minute, I have to go pee.” The teacher says this is rude. Sherman answers, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the…

A cowboy walks into a saloon and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “Nope.” he replies. “I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was…

A farmer had three daughters… and each was going on a date one Friday night. The first daughters date showed up “Hi I’m Freddy here to pick up Betty to eat spaghetti, is she ready?” Betty left with Freddy. The second daughters date showed up “Hey I’m Joe here to pick up Flo to go…

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were…

What do Excel, incels and some people who casually eat figs have in common? They get confused and incorrectly assume it’s a date. (Edit) Thank you for the awards. As people have pointed out, this joke seems to have originated from a venn diagram, but seeing as I heard it a different way and we…