69 A woman promises to teach her boyfriend what 69ing is. He lies down on the floor and she squats down over his face to assume the position and farts. Embarrassed she stands up and apologises. She squats down for another go but farts again, she gets up and apologises again. Before she can have…
A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his business. His mother walks in. “Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!” “I’m kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?” A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. “Hey, champ! How you doing?” The kid ignores him. “Don’t like…
I met this girl the other day and she took me back to her house where things got hot and heavy very quickly. I bent her over the kitchen table and started going at it when suddenly we heard the front door open. “Oh shit , it’s my boyfriend ! ” she exclaimed “Quick, use…
A girl visits her boyfriend on a Friday night Girl: Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Boy: Actually, it’s a banana. They were on sale. Girl: OK… is that another banana in your pocket, or are you happy to see me? Boy: It was a 2-for-1…
A sniper rifle and an assault rifle meet eachother at a dance party They get along quite nicely and go out for a drink. The assault rifle falls in love with the sniper rifle, and decides to ask if the sniper rifle wants to be her boyfriend. However, the sniper rifle declines. Distraught, the assault…
A woman giving birth went into a coma for a few days When she woke up, the doctor told her, “congratulations, you gave birth to healthy twins: a girl and a boy. Your ex-boyfriend visited and named them for you” The woman replies, “no not him! What did he name the boy?” Doctor: Mason Woman:…
My boyfriend bought me a diamond ring The stone was cut in the shape of a four leaf clover. I wore it all the time to show how much it meant to me. One day, I got curious and had it valued at a jeweller’s. Unfortunately they told me that my boyfriend had been swindled,…
A woman threatens her boyfriend A woman threatens her boyfriend : “If you won’t stop telling me that I’m fat, I’m going to leave you !” – “Don’t do this darling ! Think about our child !” says the boyfriend, trying to convince her to stay. – “But we **don’t** have any child !” eructs…
The Clintons snuck out of Secret Service and spent a weekend driving around like in the good ol’ days They stop at a gas station and the owner, it turns out, is Hillary’s high school boyfriend. After exchanging pleasantries they drive away and Bill says “See, if you’d married him, you’d be married to a…
The Boyfriend A teenager brings home her new boyfriend to meet her parents. They’re disgusted by his haircut, tattoos & piercings. Later, the girl’s mom says, “Honey, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.” “Oh come on Mom” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community…