A radio announcement on a plane shortly after the takeoff…
“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard our aircraft. Today we’ll be flying at 35,000 feet with a maximum speed of 700 mph. The temperature outside the … OMG!!! WTF?!!! AHHH!!! That’s it!!!”
There’s dead silence inside the cabin.
After a minute goes by: “My apologies, ladies and gentlemen… one of our flight attendants accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee on me. You should see the front of my white pants.”
One of the passengers: “Oh yeah?! You should see the back of mine!”