A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC Nothing was moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?” “Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they’re asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going…
I paid a homeless man $1 for this joke. Two men crash into each other at an intersection. First man steps out of his wrecked car screaming: “You son-of-a-bitch, you wrecked my Jag! I’m a lawyer, I’m going to sue you for everything you have!” Other man responds, “You Lawyers only care about money, you…
Jack calls an ambulance for his friend who has been hit by a car The operator asks for his location. Jack says “I’m outside 28 Eucalyptus Road”. The operator knows there is no room for error and for clarity asks, “How do you spell that?” There’s shuffling and sounds of straining at the other end…
My wife shouted at me to go out and find her some tampons, quick! So, I sprinted to the car, paced down the street, rushed into the store, frantically looking down each aisle until I finally got to the tampons, hurried back to my car and raced home as fast as I could! I burst…
A Sunday school teacher posed a question to her class, “If I were to sell my house, car, donate my possessions to charity, and give all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?” The children unanimously replied, “No.” The teacher then asked, “If I were to keep the church clean, mow the…
“The car won’t start,” said a wife to her husband. “I think there’s water in the carburetor.” “How do you know?” said the husband scornfully. “You don’t even know what the carburetor is.” “I’m telling you,” repeated the wife, “I ‘m sure there’s water in the carburetor.” “We’ll see,” mocked the husband. “Let me check…
Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car a passing soldier assures her that he can help. She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door. Magically it opens……. “That’s so clever,” the woman gasps. “How did…