My wife found me in the kitchen naked holding a gun “What the hell are you doing?” she screamed, shocked at my appearance. “Quiet woman! I’m hunting decepticons!” I whispered back harshly. She put her hands on her hips. “You’ve been sleep walking again! There are no such thing as decepticons!” I blinked, realizing how…
A naked man was walking down the street with a woman on his back A bloke on the other side of the road asked, “Where are you going?” The naked man replied, “To a fancy dress party.” “What as?” asked the bemused gentleman. “A tortoise”, said the naked man. “Well, who is the woman on…
A nun is having a bath when she hears a knock at the door…. “Who is it?” she calls out. “It’s the blind man,” comes the reply. She panics for a moment, horrified at the thought of anyone seeing her naked but then realises that, being blind, there’s no risk at all. “Alright,” she says….
An engineer comes to work one day with a new bike. His friend says “Cool bike. Where did you get it?” First guy says “I was walking home through the park. A beautiful woman on a bike rode up, jumped off the bike, stripped naked, and told me to take whatever I wanted. I took…
An Englishman, Frenchman, and Russian are looking at a painting of Adam and Eve. “They are so calm and contemplative. They would surely be English.” The Englishman says. “No,” the Frenchman says, “they are naked and beautiful, they would be French.” “My friends,” the Russian begins, “no clothes, no shelter, they are sharing an apple…
A wife yells at her husband… Wife: “How could you do this to me?!” Husband : “what did I do?” Wife: ” You slept with my sister, you bastard!” Husband : “Well, when I went to work she was lying naked on my table and you know she’s an attractive woman, what did you expect…
A husband and wife are celebrating their 20th anniversary……. The wife is naked in front of her husband and says ” The first time you saw me naked you said you wanted to suck my tits dry and fuck my brains out. What do you think now?” The husband looks at his wife and says…