I was going through a messy divorce and getting screwed by my wife&’s lawyer when I found an old lamp. I rubbed it and a genie appeared.
“Thank you for freeing me” he said. “In return I grant you 3 wishes”
“Oh! this is great,” I said. “For my first one I wish I had an inexaustable supply of cash”
Puff! A wallet full of $20 notes appeared. “No matter how much you take out, it will always be full” said the genie.
“Oh, fantastic!” I said. “O.k, I wish I had a 19 year old nymphomaniac for a mistress!”
Puff! A scantily clad nubile girl appeared and started purring over me.
“This is superb!” I cried. “I can’t believe it! I wish my bitch of a wife was here to see this…No!…wait!”